Self-love is a skill that can be developed like self-confidence or self-trust. Unfortunately, for those who have experienced childhood trauma, difficult relationships, or any number of other painful experiences, learning to love oneself may not be easy. Fortunately, understanding what self-love truly means and how to cultivate it can lead to improved mental health, relationships, motivation, and more.
Self-love is closely related to self-esteem and self-compassion and is generally defined as an appreciation, affinity, and positive regard for oneself. It requires a good understanding of both our strengths and weaknesses, and it is to be encouraged as opposed to narcissism, which is an excessive focus on oneself and has been linked to poor mental health. It is also critical to understand when to say "no" just as much as when to say "yes".
Good mental health is an important part of overall well-being, and having a positive sense of self-love means that numerous benefits can be gained, from improved stress management and resilience to better physical health and an improved attitude towards oneself and others. More than 1,000 research studies have linked self-compassion to reduced psychopathy and improved well-being.
Below, we explore five of the main benefits that having a high sense of self-love can bring:
When we are faced with a challenge, we may feel stressed because of a lack of confidence to rise to the challenge. Developing self-love gives us the ability to view such challenges as opportunities for improvement, rather than feeling threatened, and Shiken's research has found that coaching can help improve self-compassion by over 60%.
Humans are imperfect and we all have flaws, but when we lack self-love, we may find it difficult to accept these parts of ourselves. With high levels of self-love, however, we can accept the good and the bad and integrate it into our being without judgment.
Our mental and physical health are closely linked. When we are in a good mental state, it becomes easier for us to take care of our physical health and we become more likely to exercise, eat better, get regular check-ups, and follow medical advice.
Having a healthy sense of self-love means that we are more likely to form meaningful relationships, both with ourselves and with others, and will be better able to interact and behave in a positive manner.
Depression is often a result of low self-esteem and having a negative self-image. With a high sense of self-love, however, it is easier to interpret situations more accurately, and the risk of depression is substantially reduced.
Developing a positive attitude and acceptance of oneself, no matter life's obstacles, is a key factor of facing life's challenges and avoiding depression. Self-love is an essential skill that can be learned, just like self-confidence and self-trust, and brings a whole range of benefits to help enjoy life and face issues with resilience and positivity.
If you are ready to start building your self-love, you don't need any specific tools or gimmicks: you just need to create the right environment for love to grow.
Taking risks (the good kind) is one positive outcome of focusing on self-love. In being willing to take risks, we have faith in ourselves and trust that we can manage the outcome. This comes from an understanding of our own value and worth. Risk-taking is about doing more than just having fun - it is also about giving ourselves the best chance to succeed.
Developing self-love helps us to be more understanding and compassionate, not only towards ourselves but also for the people around us. This helps to build connections and strengthen our sense of belonging. Research has shown that one-on-one coaching improves our empathy by more than 40%. With increased understanding and empathy comes more cognitive and psychological flexibility, which can have a positive effect on our communication skills.
Cultivating self-love also develops self-efficacy. This is made up of four components; seeing other people doing well, having mastery experiences, feeling affirmed by others, and feeling good about our capabilities. As we build our self-trust and faith in our own abilities, it helps to achieve our goals, challenge our limitations and live our life at its best.
Additionally, setting boundaries is important in self-love. Knowing what energizes us and what isn't beneficial is essential. Saying yes to something we don't really want to do is a disservice to ourselves. Although it may seem like a virtue to always help and say yes, it's important to learn when to say no. This is an essential part of self-love.
Self-love and self-compassion are not the same thing, yet are closely related. Self-love has to do with whether or not you like yourself; it is your ability to show yourself trust, admiration, and care. Self-compassion is our capacity to be forgiving towards ourselves and our mistakes. To develop self-love, we need to have a better understanding of ourselves, while self-compassion comes from being gentle and kind to ourselves, turning mistakes into learning opportunities. Developing self-love is an important part of falling in love with oneself.
Practicing self-love is more than just surface level. It takes both inner and outer work to understand our value and love ourselves. Here are some ways to develop and practice self-love:
Self-love has numerous benefits for our mental health and wellness. From increasing self-efficacy and setting boundaries, to fostering empathy and encouraging us to take risks, developing a healthy sense of self-love is essential in order to live a fulfilling life. Here are some helpful tips to get you started.
It's important to make sure you're setting aside time to do something that makes you happy or something that relaxes you. Take a break from daily stress and find activities that help you destress. It could be anything from taking a walk to listening to your favorite podcast!
Take advantage of the relationships you already have and spend quality time with family and friends. It's also helpful to reach out to people with similar interests and passions as yourself. Whether it be joining an online community or finding a local group that meets up occasionally, fostering these relationships is important for your overall wellbeing.
One of the best ways to practice self-love is to start speaking to yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you'd show to your closest friends. It's all too easy to be critical or judgemental of yourself, so try to replace negative thoughts with kinder ones instead.
Social media can be a great source of connection, but it can also be draining. Make sure to disconnect at least once a day and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Spend some time in nature, take a mental health day, or even just spend a few hours of undistracted time with yourself.
One of the best ways to practice self-love is to set yourself up for success. Start by breaking down your goals into small, achievable steps and create systems that will help you stay on track. This could be making a list of deadlines and tracking your progress, or even setting yourself up with a daily routine.
This might sound strange, but fishing for compliments can actually be beneficial when it comes to practicing self-love. Reject the idea that compliments should be turned away, and start practicing the art of genuinely accepting and appreciating compliments. Whenever someone offers you a compliment, try responding with "Thank you, it's true" and internalize the positive acknowledgement.
Developing good self-care habits is essential for learning to love yourself. Make sure to create a plan that outlines the activities that will help you take care of yourself, such as regular exercise, getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, and spending quality time with friends and family.
There are many resources available online and in print that can teach you more about self-love, build your self-confidence, and help you find meaningful work. Some topics that can help you on your journey include:
By taking the time to learn about yourself, embrace compliments and acknowledgments, and create self-care routines, you'll be well on your way to loving yourself. You never know what you might uncover!
AI-powered learning tools. Create, relax, learn.
