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We all know the feeling of disappointment when things don't go the way we planned. We can define disappointment as feeling unhappy because someone or something was not as good as we hoped or expected. Robert Plutchik added two more emotions to make his �Wheel of Emotions� theory, consisting of eight essential emotions arranged in opposites: Joy, Trust, Fear, Surprise, Sadness, Disgust, Anger, and Anticipation. This theory explains how human emotions can range from merely feeling a certain emotion to experiencing more complex states like annoyance, boredom, and admiration.
Disappointment is an emotional response that arises from sadness. There are three primary causes of disappointment: the 'arrival fallacy', false expectations, and childhood experiences. The former occurs when we focus too heavily on achieving our goals and miss the journey along the way; while the latter two result from unfavorable comparisons or traumatic events experienced in childhood.
If you want to be successful, learning to manage disappointment is crucial � it will influence how you respond to life's various challenges. Here are five tips for how to effectively handle disappointments:
Emotional suppression hampers personal growth and adaptation, so it's important to let out your frustration. Find a confidant, such as a family member, friend, or therapist, and express your feelings. Or, find an outlet for creative expression, such as running or writing in a journal.
It's easy to think of a disappointment as the end of the world, but talking to someone who isn't directly involved with the situation can allow for a more objective view. Additionally, it's helpful to take a break from the challenge and focus on the things that bring joy, such as meaningful relationships or hobbies.
When a series of disappointments occur, it's easy to doubt yourself. That's why it's essential to know your personal values and to not lose sight of them. This way, you won't be thrown off course and can pick yourself up and try again without sacrificing your self-esteem.
In addition to understanding your values, it's important to be kind to yourself and practice self-love. Positive self-talk and living in the present moment are key for preserving awareness and appreciation for yourself.
Finally, don't let disappointment fester or amplify into anxiety, resentment, or negative thinking. It's ok to allow yourself to process the situation and its surrounding emotions, but you must eventually move on.
Disappointment isn't a pleasant emotion, but it can be used as a valuable data point to make better decisions in the future. If managed adequately, it can be a springboard for growth and transformation.
James Clear has coined the term "The Valley of Disappointment" to describe the seemingly treacherous journey that comes with attempting to achieve any goal. Disappointment is a normal part of life, but understanding how to manage it can be the key towards becoming stronger and more resilient.
Feeling disappointed can be frustrating, but it can also tell us three important things:
Though disappointments can be traced back to childhood trauma, which can be debilitating and make us hesitant to try new things, taking the right kind of steps can help us move past it.
Researchers have found that the positive effects of adversity include better mental fortitude, improved emotional intelligence, sharper thinking, and a stronger stance against negative thinking. They agree that having a better understanding of how to deal with disappointments is essential to personal development.
Though disappointment is a regular part of life, it is important to know when to seek professional help. Some clues that it might be beneficial to seek help are emotional volatility, difficulty focusing on anything other than disappointment, decrease in productivity, strained relationships, lack of motivation, sleeping and eating pattern disruptions, physical health issues, and feeling despondent.
If you have noticed any of the above indicators, then it is time to decide how to seek help. Asking friends and family for referrals can be helpful, or you can look up recommendations online if you wish to keep the matter private. A mental health professional will be able to talk you through your feelings and provide strategies to manage and cope with disappointment.
At Shiken, we use the power of a growth mindset to build resilience and lead to personal and professional development. Disappointment is completely natural, and by using it the right way and remaining steadfast, you can reach a breakthrough.
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